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Showing posts from 2008

Aamir Khan on publicity 'over'drive

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Aamir Khan is all over the place these days. Is that too much of a good thing? If I remember right, among the 3 Khan heroes, Aamir was the media 'un'friendly one. He does only about one film a year, never comes to award shows or accepts awards, definitely does not dance in them, and does not (or at least until recently) do pre-release interviews or photo-shoots claiming that he "prefers his work to speak for itself". But over the last couple of weeks I think he's gone berserk. Whatever channel I flip over to, he's there in every ad-break. He's also walking the ramp (some stupendously boring Van Huesen show), singing (I dread the day he'll try to do a Farhan Akhtar!), giving people haircuts (Ghajini buzz cuts to some unsuspecting souls, that was hilarious !), chit-chatting on talk shows, showing off his six pack, even taking pot-shots at the other members of the six-pack club like Salman Khan & SRK. All this in the name of Ghajini! Obviously, Aamir

Parvathy O knows the Miss World Lexicon

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When it comes to beauty pageants, we desi girls know exactly what to say. Parvathy Omanakuttan was crowned 1st runner up in the Miss World 2008 pageant last night. At the risk of agitating a whole community of mallus and probably the Femina Miss India folks too, who crowned her Miss India 2008 in the first place and sent her to Johannesburg, I have to say that I didn’t think she had a chance in hell. I don’t think she is pretty. At the pageant finale (televised live on Zee Café last night), she wore this very uninspiring white gown . Her hair looked like it had just come out of the dryer in the laundromat. When she was the 15th name called forward to the semi-final line up, I attributed it to luck. Then they chose her for the final 5 and I muttered to myself “the beauty industry needs the Indian market, that’s why.” Finally came that all-important question, where beauty queens have traditionally delved deep into a pageant-lexicon that includes heart-warming syllables like ‘love’, ‘com

Farhan Akhtar, Go Back to the Director’s Chair

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“It’s recession. Girls are actually marrying for love.” Then, the host of the Oye, Its Friday show (NDTV Imagine) paused a second for the canned laughter. Now why did that sound familiar? Because, not only had I read this pathetic joke earlier in some TOI weekend supplement but I had also seen this SMS joke do the rounds about a week ago. The last thing I expected of Farhan Akhtar on his new talk show was stale humor. Actually, I wonder what the show was exactly. It was a hybrid mish-mash of a joke-heavy Jay Leno plus irreverent Jimmy Kimmel plus celebrity-on-sofa Ellen plus spoofy SNL. Throw in a couple of Bollywood awards night type song-n-dance performances. Fit in a prodigious drummer kid who appears, makes a helluva lot of noise and then disappears. Include a tail-piece spoof that strips SRK’s Friday release Rab Ne Banaa Di Jodi to pieces (but why?!! Is this some new form of viral marketing?). Thank God, there was Hrithik Roshan sitting around, though even he looked uncomfortable

The Cleaners are not Responsible

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I admit I have some time on my hands these days (refer to before mentioned accident that renders me temporarily immobile) and was digging around in some old papers. I found the below dry-cleaning receipt carefully preserved. Go on, read the fine print. LOL guaranteed. Ready for the back side? :)) Since the esteemed cleaners are not "reasonable in case of fire or theft" and since they "sell without any notice", I collected my sweaters from them promptly on time. However, they are not as responsible as they claim to be in T&C 6. I obviously did not turn in the bill. And yeah, can anyone please explain what on earth is "clour touch" (see T&C 7) and why Limra Cleaners finds it so untouchable?

The Moon on the Internet

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Ah, the age of instant communication! I received an SMS from my cousin this evening. "Step out and look at the moon tonite. Its awesome :)" He lives in far-flung Rudrapur, in the northern state of Uttarakhand, but its unlikely that the moon, in its 'smiley' arrangement with Venus and Jupiter tonight, would be looking any less beautiful here in Bangalore. Of course, in my present 'disabled' circumstances (remember my accident last month), I couldnt really hobble out to view this lunar spectacle. Neither could I convince anyone at home to go out and click pictures of the trio-in-the-sky for me. Well, if the real is unavailable, there's always the virtual. So, I checked out the moon on the Internet tonight. Seems, there are plenty of folks who posted 'smiling moon' pictures online. Cute. As a friend pointed out, its nice to have someone smile down at us in these sad and terrorising times. PS: Let me give due credit to the illustration above. Its from

Soundbites

People say the darndest things on TV. The whole of Thursday 27th Nov, the news channels have been covering the Mumbai situation almost round the clock. Early in the day, one of the channels (I forget which one) showed a snippet of foreigner responses to the attacks. A guy in New York was condemning the attack and saying this to the reporter - "We know life is cheap in India but this time they have targeted foreigners." I couldnt believe the guy actually said that. Shocked and outraged as I am by the Mumbai attacks, I have been glued to the TV all day, but they havent repeated that clip again. And I am very very sure I didnt dream that up. He said that!! And people brave a lot to get on TV too. Some IT yuppie living near Colaba went out onto the streets soon after Wednesday night's blast, took pictures and posted them to CNN's ireport. They interviewed him on the CNN news. He came on BBC World News too. I am all for the concept of citizen journalism...I just hope no

What to say and What not to say

This whole month has only reconfirmed my belief that most of the problems in this world are due to poor communication. People don’t or can’t express themselves appropriately. The right words elude them. They don’t say what they actually want to say; they blurt out what was best unsaid. And what’s worst is the torrent of words that they let loose when in a tight spot (so not the right time to say anything!) As a species and after all these centuries, we simply don’t seem to learn, do we? What to say and what not to say. Earlier this month, I had a little accident. You know, of the crazy-Bangalore-traffic variety. In retrospect, it was just a stupid, freak collision, of an auto, a biker and me on a scooter, in which nothing was damaged and no one got hurt. Save me. I hurt my leg. Of course, the pain and blood annoyed me. And, in the bedlam, the smart-ass biker peering into my helmet-clad face, saying, "Sorry, madam. But not my fault. That autowala..oh ..he has gone..he ran away..sor

Life Lessons

Happy Teacher's Day! Math, science, history - all that is fine. But my teachers also taught me some critical 'life lessons' which I never realized when I was younger. It’s time to appreciate them now. For a few early formative years, I had a typical 'girls convent' education. Go on, draw all the devilish conclusions that piece of information warrants. Most are bang on. My class 2 teacher taught me patience. Sister Benny figured I was no good at sports when I stumbled for the 3rd time in the practice sessions for the lemon and spoon race. But I really wanted a medal. So, at the last minute, she signed me up for the needle and thread race. Guess what, I was skimming towards the finish line even before the rest had focused on the needle’s eye. So, I learnt that it may not be very glamorous but your true calling is out there. Just look around. I am not very sure what exactly my class 3 teacher taught me but I think it was – If you have it, flaunt it. If you don’t, stay

The 'perfect' Vice Presidential candidate

Sarah Palin, the American Republican Vice Presidential candidate, is a show-stealer. I caught snatches (over Internet video clips) of her superb performance at the Republic National Convention last night. Since everyone is anyway going ga-ga over the ' well-delivered' speech, I will admit I felt like tipping my hat to her as I watched the clips. She sure knows how to draw in the various vote banks she was playing to, and that too with emotion. I thought she had it down pat - the right tones, the stresses, the pauses, the cadences, the proud-to-be-American-at-war thing, the hockey mom thing..perfect. But here is something I had been mulling over the last couple of days (and I can see its a hotly debated issue out there). Five children, one four-month-old infant with Downs Syndrome, a 17-year old unwed, pregnant daughter and a full-time job as the Vice President of the USA... wow, I sure think even the 'lipsticked pit bull', as she refers to herself, is gonna need loads o

The Shirtless Route to Stardom

Some time ago, Sony TV's game show Dus Ka Dum , hosted by the incorrigible Salman Khan, had Ranbir Kapoor accompanied by his girlfriend, Deepika Padukone, as guest. If I remember right, he goofed up big time. He had crossed the 10 lakh milestone and then took a chance on the 1 crore question. He guessestimated the % range wrong and promptly lost all his earnings, save one lakh. Salman Khan laughed hard (for some inexplicable reason he mentioned in a following episode). Anyway, that’s beside the point. What I noticed was the way chocolate-boy Kapoor conducted himself on the show. The guy was the epitome of sharaafat . He dared not raise his voice, wouldn’t even laugh out loud and almost bent over backwards addressing Salman Khan as Sir. I am not sure if that’s his real act, but it was like watching an obedient school prefect in the headmaster's office. Well, Ranbir Kapoor sure seems to be taking lessons from Salman Khan, at least in one department - dropping his shirt. In Bachna

London could have done better

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That's it? They brought him all the way to Beijing just to stand atop that double decker bus and then kick a ball into the crowd of athletes? At least, I was disappointed. London could have come up with a more exciting 8-minute presentation during the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games. They could have used David Beckham a little more innovatively. Otherwise, the rest of the ceremony was quite spectacular. Hats off to the Chinese on that one!

Was this Olympics fun?

The Olympics close tomorrow and the host nation put on a great show. They top the gold medals tally comfortably ahead of the Americans though the later have the most number of total medals. I think India has also put in its best ever Olympic performance with an individual gold and two bronzes. At least our young boxers went down fighting. I loved it when Virender Kumar said after his final loss " abhi bhook hai...Aaj mazaa nahin aaya ." Hope to see these guys in London in 2012. So, everyone is happy. The USOC is thrilled . Indian governmental or sporting bodies are going ga-ga . And of course, the Chinese Communist Party will be very happy this Sunday when festivities mark the end of the Beijing Games and a reassertion of Chinese domination in the sporting world. Still, many think it was not such a "fun" Olympics . I hate to admit it but I am inclined to say so too. I mean, Michael Phelps made history but he only makes me look up at him in stupefication and awe at t

Are they old enough?

First there was the huge controversy over the age of the Chinese women gymnasts . Then the IOC & FIG cleared the Chinese. But the issue still simmers because many believe it was such a fake investigation. They didnt even make an effort to pass it off as a genuine one . I DO NOT condone the fact that underage gymnasts be allowed to compete (and exploit the advantage their supple bodies give them). But I think the Chinese girls are in this mess because they 'look too young'. Fortunately or unfortunately, Asian gymnasts are naturally built small, unlike their American & European rivals. I feel age doesnt show easily with Asian genes. So, even if they were 16, as their official (doctored or not, who's to say) records show, they still face the brunt of suspicion that they could be 14. Incidentally, Nadia Comaneci won her perfect scores when she was 14. Its only in 1997that they raised the eligible age for competition to 16. While still on the topic of the permissible age

Indian Hope, US Butterfingers and Jamaican Showboat

India has boxed and wrestled its way to another two medals. So, the gold was not really a fluke (as I mused in my last post). And, I am glad I was proved wrong. Hope the big bout for Vijender Kumar tomorrow goes the gold way. Watching the sprinting events this evening, I couldn't really believe the double blunders made by both the US men's and women's 4x100mtrs . Honestly, what are the chances that both teams of the same country in the same event goof up like that?! These are seasoned athletes and they must have practiced their move to perfection for years before this. Is it the pressure of a packed stadium and a watching world? Well, the Olympian pressure sure didn't get to Usain Bolt when he pranced and jiggled around after his record breaking 100m and 200m sprints. Not every one found it amusing , but I feel, let the guy have his day in the spotlight. Anyone who watched how he simply outraced the competition can only be awestruck - it was sheer power and poetry.

Independence Day SOTN

A few random thoughts on the state of the nation this 61st Independence Day: - • A country of 1 billion and we win only one medal at the Olympics. The good news is its a gold. The bad news is we haven’t got even a single silver or bronze. God, that makes the gold sound like a fluke! Hope the situation changes before the end of the games. • On TV yesterday, a CNN-IBN survey on prevalent urban Indian mindset on marriage presented the following results: o 87 per cent Indians feel that life is incomplete without marriage. o 76 per cent single people in metros believe in marriage. o Only 9% say that life can be complete without marriage o Only 32% young metro men & 22% small town women think pre-marital sex is acceptable. Remaining obviously consider it taboo. So, correct me if I guessed wrong, but one can safely conclude that we are country teeming with virgins whose overwhelming goal in life is to get married. But here's the irony - A good 48 per cent urban Indians fav

Chronicles of the hi-tech chatteratti

Organizational bulletin boards are often the hotbed of inconsequential chatter. Here’s a classic example. This is a FWD that has been doing the rounds, so I assume this piece is not infringing any copyright :) or divulging any proprietary information. Not any more, at least. For this particular one, I have rearranged (for reader’s convenience) the sequence of mails starting with the earliest. Just to be on the safe side, I have also masked real names. The conversation starts with an ostensibly innocent query and meanders into territories that only the most imaginative inhabit. Sit back and have a hoot. From: Nxxx C Jyyy Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 11:45 AM Posted To: Kxxx General Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines? Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines? Hi, Can we have better coffee vending machines in Bglr DC like other DC's? I remember we had got this Horlicks/Bournvita Vending machines in Hyd-DC (one per building) which lot of people o

Of Histrionics -In Parliament & Gotham

It’s one thing to know that every trust vote in parliament inevitably involves some amount of horse trading. It’s quite another, and frankly quite disgusting, to watch national telecasts of stacks of notes spilling out of duffel bags on the floor of the house and irate MPs waving them about as proof of the scandalous (really? what's new?) bribery. The news networks didnt tire of relaying the scenes over and over again. When I caught the latest over breakfast Wednesday morning, Amar Singh was responding to allegations that he had brokered the whole deal. 'Are these guys political prostitutes, they are on sale?' he fumes on TV. He had such a straight face on. I almost threw up my cereal. In another report online , I caught this. "What is this plot?.. I have never met them (accusing MPs) in life. I am not such a fool that I will trade with an unknown person.” So would he have traded had they been known politicians?! Nothing else on TV really matches up to the histrioni

Respecting National Symbols

Is there any law against people who wittingly/unwittingly disrespect the national anthem or the national flag? Would it be outrageously impolite if one pulled up a person who is blatantly disrespectful to the flag or the anthem and asked them to either explain themselves or rectify their behaviour? How far can one go in a personal attempt to safeguard the honor of these national symbols? I am wondering about this following an episode at the movie theatre last night. From some time now, they have been playing the national anthem before every screening. I think it’s a great idea, though I know a few people who have a different opinion. And it’s a matter of much debate. Anyway, that’s fodder for another post. What happened last night was that the whole theatre rose to its feet when the words sprang on the screen 'Please rise for the national anthem'. Save two smart young men in the row in front of me. They continued sitting and munching their popcorn. And they stayed put throughou

On Display

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Sign in the office pantry beside the coffee machine.. Every time I walk in there and see the sign, I get visions of the fresh foods section of the grocery store. What next? Chilled Stationery. Today’s Special copier paper.

Top 2 at work

What are the two things you just can’t do without at work? I am assuming most of you, who are reading this, work..for a living. If it’s at a formal workplace, name two things (tools, gadgets, perks, supports, people, whatever) absolutely indispensable to you. Even if you don't troop out every morning to a office and work from bed in your PJs, its still work, right? So just tell me, (post a comment here) what is it that you swear by. I was in one of those blessed (but rare) moments of complete concentration, working on the messaging in a marketing mailer. I must have been staring at my computer screen. Perhaps, I looked a little frozen, or like I was unraveling my future in a crystal ball. A concerned colleague tut-tutted and asked "What will you do if MS Word is taken away from you?" OK, then, I actually froze. What will I do? I will shrivel and die and rot in ‘Word’less Hell! Only one other thing ranks on par or even above Word in my list of indispensables at work. Googl

How to get lost in your own city on a rainy evening

The short answer to that is - be geographically challenged, meteorologically uninformed and blindly trust the autowallah. The long answer to that is below. If you manage to glean a few lessons from my misadventure, I guess, it would all be worth it. I seem to have this tempestuous affair with book launches and writers - some delightful, some disastrous (not good for me, you would say) - but I have a feeling it’s kind of keyed into my karma. So, I am unerringly propelled into these, well, 'interesting' situations. With advice from a well-meaning friend to rev up my social life, I decided on a book launch of Amitav Ghosh's new title Sea of Poppies at a bookstore in the city last Wednesday. The author would be reading and I was keen to hear him. I bravely set out to attend the event. Bravely, because its monsoons in Bangalore these days. And anyone who knows the city is familiar with its evening downpours and flash flooding. Very unwisely, I decided to take my bike. I parked i

Cricketainment closes. For now.

It pinches to see a non-Indian captain walk away with the first IPL trophy but I can stomach that when I think how much his team deserves to win. The Rajasthan Royals were branded the underdogs when they started out gingerly at the tournament kick-off. But what a surprise the underdogs sprung - match after match. Soon, they were quite unbeatable. There is something heart-warming about watching a bunch of gawky, unsophisticated youngsters respond beautifully to strong leadership and perform together as a team. I even rooted for the Royals in their matches against Bangalore and my favorites, Kolkata. Much has been said and written about the Royals and how inspired captaincy can weave magic. Every commentator has an opinion on what made Shane Warne tick. Some said strategizing, some said role allocation; I even read someone talking about 'the human touch'(quite literally). This is not the end; we're going to see realms on this, if you care to read. It was a colorful closing ce

Annoyed with American Idol

Cook triumphs over Archuleta in American Idol. I can't believe this! Its so obvious that the younger David has far more talent, tone and timbre than his older rival. All three of his performances in the show finale were perfect. For once even Simon got it right when he praised the kid for a 'knockout' performance. The media agreed (for a day). But then the audience goes and votes him out by a huge margin. All I feel like saying is that there seem to about 50 million tone deaf Americans out there who didnt have the guts to admit a 17-year old shy teen was worthy of being an 'idol'. Instead, they stuck to the safe option of an average-looking, guitar-toting, grungy 25-year-old with an emo rock style. Its not that he's bad, but I cant take that grainy voice. And Archuleta is just so much better. Come to think of it, these shows are so predictable in their unpredicatbility. They thrive on the suspense and the upsets. When the American Idol judges gave a thumbs up to

Writing for Gen Y

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I have not read Chetan Bhagat's novels except for a few pages of his first one Five Point Someone . I do not intend to spend a few precious hours reading it or the two subsequent ones - One night @ the call center and The 3 mistakes of my life . I don’t think I'll come away satisfied with the reading experience, so it’s better to refrain. Though, contrary to what I think, he is being touted as the 'voice of a generation’, the man responsible for a 'seismic shift in Indian writing in English' and ‘a rock star of Indian publishing’. Hmm...makes me think...am I missing something? Sunday evening, however, I happened to drop in on his book promo event while shopping at Big Bazaar and have decided to give the guy a chance. He is remarkably unpretentious, unaffected in the limelight and downright candid. He writes for the masses and makes no bones of the fact. I asked him if he wrote books for the love of writing or for the love of telling a story, he unhesitatingly answer

A Degree in Parenting

On Mother's Day (May 11 Sunday) the media was brimming with everyone's two-bit on motherhood and mothering and parenting and all that. An article by Jug Suraiya in the Times of India Sunday supplement caught my eye. He argued for a parenting certification – some kind of basic education or degree course before people became parents. Come to think of it, we go only to certified doctors and lawyers and even mechanics. So, why should a highly sensitive vocation like parenting be deprived training? Why indeed, I think. A primer course, covering the basics; not necessarily super-specialization - for try as you might, you can’t know it all in parenting. There are no experts in human relationships. Normally, I wouldn’t be entertaining this idea of parenting certification leave alone give it serious thought, unconventional and outrageous as it sounds. But an incident less than a week ago was still fresh in my memory and tied in perfectly with the author’s idea. On a flight back from my

Cricket and all that jazz

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The Bangalore skyline saw plenty of psychedelic hi-jinks when the IPL cricket tournament kicked off tonight. I cant help thinking this whole thing is more tamaasha than sport. Not that I am complaining. All that razzmatazz - dancers on stilts, fairies inside bubbles, trapeze artists swinging down to the field, it was one hell of a show! And the cricket-crazy Indian audiences anyway make it an electrifying atmosphere. But then I am one of those armchair audiences who watch cricket from the couch at home. So, while the tech city's Royal Challengers got clobbered, I tore my hair out frustrated with all that onscreen TV advertising. The screen splits up sometimes or shrinks in to a small window while multi-color graphic vines creep across the margins trailing "Godrej". Or worse, stick figure pop out from the edges and break into ridiculous jigs hoping to prompt viewers to subscribe for Vodafone alerts. I was expecting atleast one Shahrukh Khan sighting. He didn't come in

Cracking Consumer Choice

I chanced upon this marketing insight , perhaps in last week’s newspaper, and thought it would be good to share it with the hapless visitors to my blog. Some of the brains at Wharton have researched and proven this hypothesis that ‘exposure to environmental cues can prime the consumer’s memory to favor certain products’. It seems when NASA landed the Pathfinder spacecraft on Mars in July 1997, the sales of Mars bars shot up. Apparently, consumers, barraged by news of our little red neighborly planet, somehow felt more inclined to nibble on a chocolate bar of the same name. What does this tell me about consumer choice? Around Valentine’s Day, thanks to the profusion of red hearts festooning every conceivable, advertise’able’ space (including toilet seats, yes, I have seen that!), I am probably going to drink a lot of Roohafza (ugghh..that will be the day). Marketers may find that Tide (the detergent) vanishes off the shelves quickly in coastal towns than inland. (Tide. Oceans. Coastal c

Looking up at Fisichella

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Can someone please tell me why Giancarlo Fisicella (or Fisi, as he so endearingly wants to be called) is inviting us to speed with him at 300 kmph in all his bare-chested 'Adonis' glory? I don't really follow racing but last time I checked they climb into those hot wheels fully suited up like astronauts. For all you know he is probably Adonis in his birthday suit. Leaves much to imagination! Hmmm..an ad for ForceIndia with a buck naked Italian.... PS: Good eye candy

Dress Advantage

Correct me if I am wrong, but it’s so much more difficult and time-consuming for a working woman to get dressed for business than a working man. A few days ago I attended a marketing conference at one of those snobby, up-market, ultra-luxe hotels in town. My employer was a sponsor at the event, so I knew I was not to have any escape from the series of keynote speeches and presentations and panel discussions, all tailgating each other as if their life depended on it (but perhaps it did - God forbid a participant’s attention should wander away if you allowed him a breather between sessions!) To break the monotony I digressed every now and then to indulge in one of my favorite pastimes – observing people. Sticking to the superficial (and sartorial), I scanned the corporate honchos on the stage, the execs in the audience, the marketers at the booths and a scattering of the event organizers too. The men were mostly in the standard ‘business formals’ – you know, the dark suit, light shirt, b

Yet Another Point of View

Someone once asked me 'What are your principles in life? What do you believe in?' It’s a loaded question, almost burdensome. If I claimed to be ‘principled’ should I be carrying around a bag full of solid, defined, ‘value’ nuggets that I can use to weigh each situation in life? Or is it more like a bound volume of neatly-outlined instructions that I can refer to every time I am in a fix? I actually got into a fix trying to answer that question. Wish I really had the ‘bound volume’! So much easier, isn’t it, if you know exactly how to measure up an issue or person or situation? If only there were some kind of depth markers which gave you an indication of where you stood! From all the living I have done so far (and, it’s a respectable amount), I have a strong feeling there are no such lines on the wall. It’s really about the angle you look at things. It’s all about your point of view. There, I have nailed it. I have a Point of View (POV). Or maybe, several points of view. Not to