A Degree in Parenting
On Mother's Day (May 11 Sunday) the media was brimming with everyone's two-bit on motherhood and mothering and parenting and all that. An article by Jug Suraiya in the Times of India Sunday supplement caught my eye. He argued for a parenting certification – some kind of basic education or degree course before people became parents. Come to think of it, we go only to certified doctors and lawyers and even mechanics. So, why should a highly sensitive vocation like parenting be deprived training?
Why indeed, I think. A primer course, covering the basics; not necessarily super-specialization - for try as you might, you can’t know it all in parenting. There are no experts in human relationships. Normally, I wouldn’t be entertaining this idea of parenting certification leave alone give it serious thought, unconventional and outrageous as it sounds. But an incident less than a week ago was still fresh in my memory and tied in perfectly with the author’s idea.
On a flight back from my hometown, there was a young couple seated nearby with their year-old son, maybe even younger. He seemed fine during the initial part of the flight but after the small aircraft hit a couple of air pockets and shook around with the turbulence, he began to fidget. When the aircraft began a long-winded descent, all hell broke loose across the aisle. It was obvious that he was having an earache – he kept scratching at his ears. He bawled out loud and flailed his arms and legs around. He was really difficult to control and that too within the small legroom of economy class.
At first my heart went out to the baby – the innocent little thing has no clue what and why it hurts so. I empathized mentally with the parents. Been there, done that! But then I noticed they just weren’t helping. They sat there passing this wild, shrieking bundle between each other like a parcel. They seemed absolutely clueless about what one needs to do to relieve a child’s earache during flights. It’s simple, really. Just give the child something to drink, or if old enough, something to chew on. If the child is really young, breast feed. So long as the throat muscles are working, there’s no pressure buildup and there’s no pain. Obviously, they didn’t know and no one had told them. All they had needed to do was get a prepared feed or water or juice in a baby bottle and offer it to the child during take-off/landing/high altitude. The sucking action in the mouth would have kept the kiddo pain-free.
Anyway, it was pandemonium out there. I must confess that little tyke was no sissy. I don’t remember ever seeing another brat with a higher decibel level. He yelled lustily announcing his discomfort and thrashed anything within his reach. I watched from three seats away but could do nothing since there was turbulence and the seat belt sign on. Finally, an air hostess stumbled up the aisle and must have advised the couple on the ‘drink therapy’. Mother-father swung into action using the bottle of water served in flight. Tyke was in no mood. Water splashed all over the place. They pinned him down on father’s lap and tried to get him to drink. Tyke pushed his head back, clamped his mouth shut, got water in his nose, gagged, coughed. God, it was a horror show! At least to me. I wanted to give the ostensibly ignorant and incompetent parents an earful, but that doesn’t help much, does it? If the child is unwilling to drink and the pain has anyway hit, is there really any point in holding him down and shoving water down his throat? Hold him close, cuddle him, croon to him, calm him down or even distract him with toys and make him forget the pain. I don’t think they had a toy on them either. For heaven’s sake, how unprepared do parents allow themselves to be?!
The incident left me a little frustrated, a little angry, and a little pained. It always pains me to see a child cry for reasons that could have been avoided. If you are parent, I am sure you feel the same.
I think flights should include some basic childcare instructions during their safety instructions routine. Or at least, add a leaflet into the seat pockets. Then again, parents should get some education too. Your child trusts you implicitly to keep it safe and happy. Isn’t it your responsibility to live up to your role? One cannot know it ALL, but something is better than nothing. If, as Suraiya argues, we need a training course to be better parents in this complicated modern world, then so be it.
Why indeed, I think. A primer course, covering the basics; not necessarily super-specialization - for try as you might, you can’t know it all in parenting. There are no experts in human relationships. Normally, I wouldn’t be entertaining this idea of parenting certification leave alone give it serious thought, unconventional and outrageous as it sounds. But an incident less than a week ago was still fresh in my memory and tied in perfectly with the author’s idea.
On a flight back from my hometown, there was a young couple seated nearby with their year-old son, maybe even younger. He seemed fine during the initial part of the flight but after the small aircraft hit a couple of air pockets and shook around with the turbulence, he began to fidget. When the aircraft began a long-winded descent, all hell broke loose across the aisle. It was obvious that he was having an earache – he kept scratching at his ears. He bawled out loud and flailed his arms and legs around. He was really difficult to control and that too within the small legroom of economy class.
At first my heart went out to the baby – the innocent little thing has no clue what and why it hurts so. I empathized mentally with the parents. Been there, done that! But then I noticed they just weren’t helping. They sat there passing this wild, shrieking bundle between each other like a parcel. They seemed absolutely clueless about what one needs to do to relieve a child’s earache during flights. It’s simple, really. Just give the child something to drink, or if old enough, something to chew on. If the child is really young, breast feed. So long as the throat muscles are working, there’s no pressure buildup and there’s no pain. Obviously, they didn’t know and no one had told them. All they had needed to do was get a prepared feed or water or juice in a baby bottle and offer it to the child during take-off/landing/high altitude. The sucking action in the mouth would have kept the kiddo pain-free.
Anyway, it was pandemonium out there. I must confess that little tyke was no sissy. I don’t remember ever seeing another brat with a higher decibel level. He yelled lustily announcing his discomfort and thrashed anything within his reach. I watched from three seats away but could do nothing since there was turbulence and the seat belt sign on. Finally, an air hostess stumbled up the aisle and must have advised the couple on the ‘drink therapy’. Mother-father swung into action using the bottle of water served in flight. Tyke was in no mood. Water splashed all over the place. They pinned him down on father’s lap and tried to get him to drink. Tyke pushed his head back, clamped his mouth shut, got water in his nose, gagged, coughed. God, it was a horror show! At least to me. I wanted to give the ostensibly ignorant and incompetent parents an earful, but that doesn’t help much, does it? If the child is unwilling to drink and the pain has anyway hit, is there really any point in holding him down and shoving water down his throat? Hold him close, cuddle him, croon to him, calm him down or even distract him with toys and make him forget the pain. I don’t think they had a toy on them either. For heaven’s sake, how unprepared do parents allow themselves to be?!
The incident left me a little frustrated, a little angry, and a little pained. It always pains me to see a child cry for reasons that could have been avoided. If you are parent, I am sure you feel the same.
I think flights should include some basic childcare instructions during their safety instructions routine. Or at least, add a leaflet into the seat pockets. Then again, parents should get some education too. Your child trusts you implicitly to keep it safe and happy. Isn’t it your responsibility to live up to your role? One cannot know it ALL, but something is better than nothing. If, as Suraiya argues, we need a training course to be better parents in this complicated modern world, then so be it.
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