Chronicles of the hi-tech chatteratti
Organizational bulletin boards are often the hotbed of inconsequential chatter. Here’s a classic example.
This is a FWD that has been doing the rounds, so I assume this piece is not infringing any copyright :) or divulging any proprietary information. Not any more, at least. For this particular one, I have rearranged (for reader’s convenience) the sequence of mails starting with the earliest. Just to be on the safe side, I have also masked real names. The conversation starts with an ostensibly innocent query and meanders into territories that only the most imaginative inhabit. Sit back and have a hoot.
From: Nxxx C Jyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 11:45 AM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Hi,
Can we have better coffee vending machines in Bglr DC like other DC's? I remember we had got this Horlicks/Bournvita Vending machines in Hyd-DC (one per building) which lot of people out there has appreciated. Can we hope of getting similar ones in Bglr DC?
________________________________________
From: Mxxx R Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 11:57 AM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Yes please...both tea and coffee taste really horrible...the milk powder is no substitute for actual milk.. what with all kinds of bugs coming out of the machine too!
It would be really nice to have something like what is suggested below.
________________________________________
From: S Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:11 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
I agree with you that milk powder is no substitute for actual milk. Similarly old milk is no substitute for fresh milk. So how about having a cow and a decoction maker in each building, so that we can get a nice flavored coffee.
________________________________________
From: Axxx S Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:14 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Can we also have buffaloes please ??? J
________________________________________
From: Axxx N Tyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:23 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Why don't we have goats too......?. Axxx are you listening? ________________________________________
From: Jxxx Gyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:37 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
I did not get this L
Goats and then Axxx are you listening?
________________________________________
From: Rxxx Ryyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:39 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have explanations?
Rxxx Ryyy
XY Technologies Ltd,
Bangalore
________________________________________
From: Sxxx Kyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:50 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Who is Axxx? Is it a goats name??
Regards,
Sxxx Kyyy
Software Engineer | XY Technologies Ltd. | Bangalore
________________________________________
From: Axxx Myyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:55 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
I think Axxx is the one who might arrange for the goats!!!!!!! (No offences meant) :-)
Can anyone make the arrangements for the cow and buffaloes please?
Also the tea and coffee plantations!!!!!!!!
;-)
________________________________________
From: Axxx Ayyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:09 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
No!
If you want I can sign a petition online beseeching the authorities to allow cows, buffaloes and good coffee vending machines in Infy....
That's the MAX I am willing to do J
Thanks and Regards,
Axxx.
________________________________________
From: Axxx S Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:12 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
What if some buffalo turns out to be a LeT operative ?
________________________________________
From: Nxxx C Jyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:14 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Re:Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Now we have to decide whether should buy Vending machines or milk giving animals like Cow/buffalo/Goat?
Regards,
Nxxx J C.
________________________________________
From: Axxx Myyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:26 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Re:Can we have better coffee vending machines?
No need to buy the vending machines as CCD will provide them on loan I guess. Now coming to the goats/cows/buffaloes we have to purchase them, now the question is how many???? Should all building have one of each or should one building have only one animal?/? That is the point we have to decide on.
As far as the plantation goes I think the golf course is used no more, so we can have a tea and coffee plantation over there. After all its about tea or coffee so we need the main ingredient fresh!!!!! isnt it????????
________________________________________
From: S Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:43 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Guys ............. It was started with cow. Then people added buffalos and goats to the list. Check if anything else is missed out (if its milk is useful or it is useful in some other way) before sending the suggestion to the concerned dept / authority.
________________________________________
From: Axxx Myyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:53 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Will the goats, buffaloes, cows and other animals have to follow the dress code????????? And will they have permanent ID card???????/ After all security was questioned by one of us!
I think having ID cards will help ensure better security. + the dress code will make them look more professional
________________________________________
From: Sxxx S Dyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:03 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Yes, 'Photo ID Card' is necessary!
Or we would need dogs if the animals look too similar for security guys to identify.
Baggage check is not in question right now, but may be some day, if we have plans to allow Kangaroos for some reason. J
SSD
________________________________________
From: Axxx Myyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:11 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Yes thats true.
As cars or two wheelers are no more allowed inside the campus and the golf carts are only for the clients the ones who do not know cycling can use kangaroos for quick transportations from one place to another withing the campus.
________________________________________
From: Cxxx Cyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:12 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can the milking of the cows, buffaloes and goats be outsourced since it's not a core competency that XY enjoys ?
________________________________________
From: Axxx Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:14 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Ya...and that will make devegowda happy too J
Axxx..
-----Original Message-----
From: Axxx S Cyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:19 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have a separate DC for their Training n production?
"Production People" - no they would called "Production Animals"
N they hv separate recruitment policy.
Can any one suggest their minimum criteria?
Axxx S Cyyy
Software Engineering
Communication Service Provider
XY-Bangalore( India)
:* AxxxS_Cyyy@XY.com
________________________________________
From: Sxxx Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:40 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Yes we need to have very strict selection criteria so that only quality cows/buffaloes/camels/goats/sheep/llama/elk/elephants etc. are recruited for milking.
1) Should have consistently high 'milkademic' performance. Should have given more than or equal to 10 litres/day in the past.
2) Should have high 'dungamatic' quotient. Should not have passed dung on the premises more than 3.4 times per 1000 days.
3) Should be good team players and not kick the milkman while milking.
4) Should meet deadlines and allow milking at late-hours and night-shifts too for the foreign clients.
5) Should have no communication skills else can disturb the employees by ba-ba/moo-moo etc.
________________________________________
From: Axxx Ayyy
Posted At: Fri 1/20/2006 4:44 PM
Posted To: Kxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Ba-Ba Moo-Moo - ROTFL
What will the grazing grounds signboards say in that case? "Milking in progress, No mooing please?"
And will the cattle stock be taught to read these K
Thanks and Regards,
Axxx.
________________________________________
From: Kxxx Kyyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:53 PM
Posted To: Kxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
wil our dear cows /buffaloos........................................etc hav onsite oppurtunities as they wud surely want to know this in the interview...............
From: Axxx Myyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:59 PM
Posted To: Kxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Yes, certainly, they should have, as XY is a global company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perhaps after tasting the coffee and tea here the client might want to outsource their coffee and tea facility to XY.
This is a FWD that has been doing the rounds, so I assume this piece is not infringing any copyright :) or divulging any proprietary information. Not any more, at least. For this particular one, I have rearranged (for reader’s convenience) the sequence of mails starting with the earliest. Just to be on the safe side, I have also masked real names. The conversation starts with an ostensibly innocent query and meanders into territories that only the most imaginative inhabit. Sit back and have a hoot.
From: Nxxx C Jyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 11:45 AM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Hi,
Can we have better coffee vending machines in Bglr DC like other DC's? I remember we had got this Horlicks/Bournvita Vending machines in Hyd-DC (one per building) which lot of people out there has appreciated. Can we hope of getting similar ones in Bglr DC?
________________________________________
From: Mxxx R Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 11:57 AM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Yes please...both tea and coffee taste really horrible...the milk powder is no substitute for actual milk.. what with all kinds of bugs coming out of the machine too!
It would be really nice to have something like what is suggested below.
________________________________________
From: S Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:11 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
I agree with you that milk powder is no substitute for actual milk. Similarly old milk is no substitute for fresh milk. So how about having a cow and a decoction maker in each building, so that we can get a nice flavored coffee.
________________________________________
From: Axxx S Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:14 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Can we also have buffaloes please ??? J
________________________________________
From: Axxx N Tyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:23 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Why don't we have goats too......?. Axxx are you listening? ________________________________________
From: Jxxx Gyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:37 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
I did not get this L
Goats and then Axxx are you listening?
________________________________________
From: Rxxx Ryyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:39 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have explanations?
Rxxx Ryyy
XY Technologies Ltd,
Bangalore
________________________________________
From: Sxxx Kyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:50 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Who is Axxx? Is it a goats name??
Regards,
Sxxx Kyyy
Software Engineer | XY Technologies Ltd. | Bangalore
________________________________________
From: Axxx Myyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 2:55 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
I think Axxx is the one who might arrange for the goats!!!!!!! (No offences meant) :-)
Can anyone make the arrangements for the cow and buffaloes please?
Also the tea and coffee plantations!!!!!!!!
;-)
________________________________________
From: Axxx Ayyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:09 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
No!
If you want I can sign a petition online beseeching the authorities to allow cows, buffaloes and good coffee vending machines in Infy....
That's the MAX I am willing to do J
Thanks and Regards,
Axxx.
________________________________________
From: Axxx S Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:12 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
What if some buffalo turns out to be a LeT operative ?
________________________________________
From: Nxxx C Jyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:14 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Re:Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Now we have to decide whether should buy Vending machines or milk giving animals like Cow/buffalo/Goat?
Regards,
Nxxx J C.
________________________________________
From: Axxx Myyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:26 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Re:Can we have better coffee vending machines?
No need to buy the vending machines as CCD will provide them on loan I guess. Now coming to the goats/cows/buffaloes we have to purchase them, now the question is how many???? Should all building have one of each or should one building have only one animal?/? That is the point we have to decide on.
As far as the plantation goes I think the golf course is used no more, so we can have a tea and coffee plantation over there. After all its about tea or coffee so we need the main ingredient fresh!!!!! isnt it????????
________________________________________
From: S Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:43 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Guys ............. It was started with cow. Then people added buffalos and goats to the list. Check if anything else is missed out (if its milk is useful or it is useful in some other way) before sending the suggestion to the concerned dept / authority.
________________________________________
From: Axxx Myyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 3:53 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Will the goats, buffaloes, cows and other animals have to follow the dress code????????? And will they have permanent ID card???????/ After all security was questioned by one of us!
I think having ID cards will help ensure better security. + the dress code will make them look more professional
________________________________________
From: Sxxx S Dyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:03 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Yes, 'Photo ID Card' is necessary!
Or we would need dogs if the animals look too similar for security guys to identify.
Baggage check is not in question right now, but may be some day, if we have plans to allow Kangaroos for some reason. J
SSD
________________________________________
From: Axxx Myyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:11 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Yes thats true.
As cars or two wheelers are no more allowed inside the campus and the golf carts are only for the clients the ones who do not know cycling can use kangaroos for quick transportations from one place to another withing the campus.
________________________________________
From: Cxxx Cyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:12 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can the milking of the cows, buffaloes and goats be outsourced since it's not a core competency that XY enjoys ?
________________________________________
From: Axxx Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:14 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Ya...and that will make devegowda happy too J
Axxx..
-----Original Message-----
From: Axxx S Cyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:19 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject:
Can we have a separate DC for their Training n production?
"Production People" - no they would called "Production Animals"
N they hv separate recruitment policy.
Can any one suggest their minimum criteria?
Axxx S Cyyy
Software Engineering
Communication Service Provider
XY-Bangalore( India)
:* AxxxS_Cyyy@XY.com
________________________________________
From: Sxxx Syyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:40 PM
Posted To: Kxxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Yes we need to have very strict selection criteria so that only quality cows/buffaloes/camels/goats/sheep/llama/elk/elephants etc. are recruited for milking.
1) Should have consistently high 'milkademic' performance. Should have given more than or equal to 10 litres/day in the past.
2) Should have high 'dungamatic' quotient. Should not have passed dung on the premises more than 3.4 times per 1000 days.
3) Should be good team players and not kick the milkman while milking.
4) Should meet deadlines and allow milking at late-hours and night-shifts too for the foreign clients.
5) Should have no communication skills else can disturb the employees by ba-ba/moo-moo etc.
________________________________________
From: Axxx Ayyy
Posted At: Fri 1/20/2006 4:44 PM
Posted To: Kxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Ba-Ba Moo-Moo - ROTFL
What will the grazing grounds signboards say in that case? "Milking in progress, No mooing please?"
And will the cattle stock be taught to read these K
Thanks and Regards,
Axxx.
________________________________________
From: Kxxx Kyyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:53 PM
Posted To: Kxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
wil our dear cows /buffaloos........................................etc hav onsite oppurtunities as they wud surely want to know this in the interview...............
From: Axxx Myyyy
Posted At: Friday, January 20, 2006 4:59 PM
Posted To: Kxx General
Conversation: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Subject: RE: Can we have better coffee vending machines?
Yes, certainly, they should have, as XY is a global company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perhaps after tasting the coffee and tea here the client might want to outsource their coffee and tea facility to XY.
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